traffic and tension and other mixed emotions

rinnel was catching a trip last friday night.
we went out of the office at around 540pm thinking
that we will be able to catch up well.

what we did not expect was the heavy traffic even in lahug
area, and the rain.

when we went out, it was about to rain.
halfway walking around IT park, it drizzles.
we really had to get a taxi or we will be having a hard time getting one.

we walked until outside the IT park, wishing we will be seeing vacant taxis.
to no avail, none came.
rinnel called a taxi at the waterfront area.
we were quite relieved, but i knew that it is not really a good thing.
because, the traffic is still really heavy.

he was nervous, and so upset coz kim already texted him that they are
already at the airport.
we told the driver to make it fast. he was ranting about the traffic, but
still we asked him to try to make it fast coz we are catching a trip.

rinnel was silent for some moment,
then ranting the next, cursing those drivers that causes more traffic.
he was uneasy. he keeps on texting kim on where he already is.

fortunately, we arrived at the airport just on time.
it was a fast goodbye for us :(
not too much talk or what..
kim went out after checking in her things but rinnel was still outside.
i just texted him some stuffs, called him and told him that i will be leaving.
he told me to wait coz he is still fixing some stuffs, then he will go out.
it was nearly boarding time, so i told him that i will leave and he will just
rest.
he went out for some minutes, we said goodbye and i took the taxi going
back to the office.

it was sad but not that dramatic.
toinks.
i was ok after that.

i was just pissed when he did not text me or emailed me
that he already arrived.

we talked, on saturday morning already but it was a short chat.
i guess i was just having a hard time adjusting because for one,
he can't chat freely or use the pc freely coz a lot of them are sharing
the internet and the laptop.
i cannot text him that much even coz he is on roaming and it was quite costly.
we were not able to talk more or agree on the time when we will chat.

hahay..
the sad thing, i still cant go out freely coz im still scared.
damn this heart!
why cant i get over this trauma stuff.
i was walking alone from our apartment to the highway to take a taxi
and i was really walking so fast, looking to my left and right,
sensing if there are people following me or what.
my heart beats so fast, that i always felt like fainting.
i was on a taxi going to abella yesterday.
of course there will be motorcycle that will pass us,
and it gives me a twitch coz i felt like, im still outside
ready to be harmed.
grr...
when will this end...