melted

i was browsing through my stuffs last weekend and i came across my favorite mp3s stored in my hard disk. i copied it in my laptop again, and while rendering ot today, i played them. after a happy dancing tune, silent world by donna lewis was played. i suddenly just wanted to rest my back, or lie down, play the music loudly, close my eyes and just listen to it. i even felt teary eyed or simply just wanted to cry.

lately, it has been a stressful, exciting and different week for me. maybe even more different for the coming weeks.

the song is actually a dedication for someone who died. i even posted i here in my blog before when my lola died. but the first time i dedicated it was for my uncle. someone whose death i cannot forget making me wanted to curse the hospital he was in. recalling it makes me want to cry or even just simple talking about it really makes me cry. i also wanted the song to be played in my wake over and over again when i die. i know its bad to talk about it; i was even reprimanded by my sister and i know my parents would kill me if they hear me talking like this. but yes, i hope someone will remember this. i want this played all through out my wake and of course during my burial. it's not scary. it's just something that i wanted and i dont want to die yet.

when i was still in college, i heard it from killer bee every sunday evening before they sign off. actually before 1130 or around that time coz they sign off at 12midnight. i am usually at bed during those times, listening to the radio while trying to sleep. it has became my favorite regardless of the meaning. i searched for the lyrics and i memorized it. i would feel bad if they won't play it. i would always make it a point that i am tuned in during those times so i can hear it. mp3 players are not popular that time.

i am actually like that. when i feel down, or sad, or happy or just simply peaceful, i wanted to listen to the music LOUDLY(i mean hurting my ears, but i just wanted to listen to the music alone) and play it again and again.

i've been playing it again after it finishes....