beenwaitinginvain

I am waiting happily with HIM and for HIM :)

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

because..

*unfinished*

have learned that no matter what is the role of the person is, or whatever she is in a person's life, she will continue to get hurt..

someone who is inlove, but is not loved back, will get hurt..someone who is inlove and is loved back still get hurts...someone who doesnt have someone to love, still gets hurt..

as i was watching tv last nyt, i realized something...girls tends to love more, tends to show more love, and tends to expect more..thus they gets hurt more..or gets hurt easily...in almost every relationship i have heard, it was always the girl who cried...in almost all series, movies, i have seen, it is always the girl who worry about the relationship, about the feelings, about the future; it was always the girl who cries, who gets hurt

...

Saturday, November 12, 2005

random thoughts


today is the nth saturday that we are having work..i feel like i am no longer having any longer time to sleep..tsk tsk...been busy these past few days...finishing old projects, our counterpart in japan has a lot of requests..documents, investigation, post mortem reports...new project coming up...at least a new one has come..and the one that ive been waiting for..a java project.. :) i am a little excited and a little afraid...no background in java..but well...anyways, christmas
is coming...our batch and our company has been busy with preparations...

---
aprilfools just had our kris kringle bunot2....we decided that we will be having code names, and no one should know the code name except you, not even the one who got u...revelations will be on the party itself :)

---
our company has jst started the yuletide matchmaking..it has been with the company for two years now...they gave it a twist too...they decided to have a votation as to who to the searcher and searchee will be...i dunno..m quite scared..i knw someone will be nominated as searchee and i kinda dnt like it..i hope consent will not be granted..ahah..

---
we had dinner at jo's last nyt...twas fun..ryt after, i was suppose to go back at the office...got to finish some reports....but they decided that we go somewhere...they agreed to go to offroads...that is in mabolo...so i went back to the office, finished my report, and with ate anne, we went to offroads...to my surprise, the place ive seen a couple of months ago, which i thot was located at mandaue is what they called "offroads" and is located in
mabolo..nyways, ive seen it and it was a coffee shop with a rooftop..i kinda like it...when we arrived, they were talkin about the fools party..they decided to have it at Tubod in Minglanilla this November 29..quite early but got no choice...we have 2saturdays that have work..and for sure our project groups will be having parties too...i dnt like d place..or maybe i really wanted to have it in hidden paradise..but well, majority wins...i hope everybody would come..

---
hahay...i miss someone...tsk tsk tsk...i hope he does too..got a word from a friend..she told me that a friend told her too that eventhough guys doesnt communicate dat much, it doesnt mean, they dont care at all..oh well...

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

at last! bakasyon na!!






it has been several months that we've been planning to go to bantayan(olga's hometown), stay at ogtong cave for a nyt, have some tour at the place, and well, relax! ahaha..

nyways, during our OT days, we are always telling our subcon that we will go to their place in bantayan..i searched d net on wat nice place or resort to stay and i got interested on the ogtong cave resort
.

we started planning the outing several months ago, and jst fixed the attendance a week before our long vacation...november 29 and 30 are weekend; november 31 was declared a holiday, and so is november 1; we worked and will be working for 2 saturdays in lieu of november 2 and 3; november 4 is also a holiday and november 5 and 6 are weekends...that is 9days vacation and we decided to have our outing on november 4-5.

we decided to meet at the office at around 12midnight on november 3rd, hang out for some time at east west, wait for 230am, dn head off to north bus terminal and take the bus to hagnaya.

things were settled dat friday, November 28, tasks are assigned, like the sandwiches and snacks, food will be brought at bantayan since olga is already there. and she will be meeting us at the po
rt on friday.

around 12, we met at the office, went to east west to grab some bite coz we are already hungry. after east west, we went back to the office where we left our bags. We went to the restroom to prepare and off we go to the north bus terminal. we were so eager to arrive at the terminal so we can start sleeping coz we're already so sleepy..talk about SSB, feeling sleepy after eating..ahaha..

me, steng, and ken took a taxi, and momot, banne and ernie took another cab...there are only six of us who went to bantayan and it will be the seven of us who will stay at ogtong. we arrived at the terminal and there is already a bus that is waiting for passengers..we went inside the bus and waited for it to go...i slept almost the entire trip and woke up when we are already at the hagnaya port. the ferry is leaving at 630am and we arrived at around 530am...we bought tickets and waited for the time for the ferry to go.. that was our first time there and we have no idea what kind of ferry we are going to ride to..630 came, and people started going near the docking area, we also went to the docking area and lined up. it turned out that since it was low tide, we are riding a small boat first which will transfer us to the ferry. the trip is quite long and somehow tiring...i texted olga that we are already on the ferry and asked where she will meet us. we arrived at sta fe port at around 830am, we waited for olga to arrive since she will be the one to take us to ogtong cave.

olga came and we rode a tricycle or motorela something(twas like a motorcycle with a sort of jeepney at the back of it which can carry at most 8people excluding the driver). we were
brought directly to ogtong cave where we check in.




the place is sooooooooooooo wonderful, so relaxing and so romantic. :D




the landscape is so nice :)



we reserved two rooms but planned on getting only one room since we also have a tent with us. the receptionist will not allow us to...the rum is allowed only a maximum of 4people..we decided to get another room anyways...



we went to the rum, settled our things, i changed, and since its still early, rest for some time..some already explored the place...i went with olga and we also visited the different areas, the cave, the seaside, the tree house...ive seen the swing nearby our rum, and with a sandwich with me, i stayed at the swing...we planned on what to have for lunch..the resort has a restaurant, and we decided to eat there...




the plan was to have lunch at around 1130, rest for some time, go to bantayan proper and buy stuffs for dinner and go back to resort, we will rent some bike and bike around the resort in the afternoon, "dip" in the cave or go swimming at the pool or at the sea, have some dinner, bonfire at night, then island hopping or bike boat the following day...but before that..we took some pictures :)



the lunch was great...squid calamares is so delicious..we were so full that we wanted to sleep after lunch..ahha...SSB stikes again..

banne and ernie decided to go to the cave, and so is olga..i havent changed yet, so while waiting for my turn in the cr, i lied down at the bed...i felt so sleepy, and i decided to take a nap, and will go to the cave after...i end up sleeping until 2pm..when i woke up, they are done swimming and are preparing to go to bantayan...ehehe..

we contacted the driver who drove us to ogtong that morning to get us from ogtong and brings us to bantayan...we went to the market, buy the stuffs we needed and head back to the resort..on the way to the resort, we passed by their old church, we stopped and visited the church, took some pics, and head back to the resort...




we're almost near the resort when we almost had an accident...there's an uphill on the way to the resort and when we're almost at the top, the tricycle stopped and it went down...we are shocked, speechless...we are going down so fast and i have really seen one wheel going out of the road...i was really scared...i never even managed to scream at that time...i was thinking that the tricycle would turn upside down after losing balance when the wheel went out of the road...good thing the driver was able to do something and we regained balance...



i was so shocked that i was not able to speak or i think i wont be able to walk..when they all decide to walk, me and momot, rode back the tricycle until the resort...i was so silent coz of shock and i was so scared...

we jst forgot bout the incident, and decided to enjoy the rest of the outing ;) we went to the reception and decided to rent some bike...that was quite late, so there were no more bike to rent...there was one in the resort but its owned by one of the staff...the manager told us that he will try to ask the owner of the bike if we can rent it...



while waiting for the bike, we took some pictures of the beautiful landscape at the entrance...



at last, there was at least one bike we can rent, we tried it, and let steng have her practice.. :)

after several hours of practice, we decided to go back to the cave and this time swim :) i changed my clothes, and waited for them...we decided to have our dinner first before we go swimming...we really really wanted to do the bonfire ryt after but jst dnt knw wer...so ryt after our dinner, we went down to the beach area, and with our charcoal(ahaha), started the bonfire with the marshmallow and hotdogs...we looked for some twigs to use for the bonfire..we found some and we really enjoyed cooking the hotdog and mallows...twas delicious...quoting momot: "kagumkom sa gawas pro humok sa sulod"(crunchy outside and soft inside) ;)

after bonfire, we went to the cave, since we still have to sign waiver f we are to use the pool after 6pm...we enjoyed our swimming at the cave...with the t0p5 bantayan version...there was a shrimp at the cave...we are noisy and the staffs told us that we also have to sign a waiver if we are to swim at the cave, we signed the waiver and transfered to the pool..ahahah..so funny...

nyways, we continued our top5 at the pool, we are suppose to stay there only until 10pm but since nobody told us to leave, we jst stayed there for a while...twas already cold..since its already 11pm...we planned the activity for the next day, and decided to go back to our room, took a shower and sleep...

olga and i decided to use the tent(inside the rum :D )..ehehe..there is only 1 bed in the room, they provided 2folding beds but we choose the tent...

the next day, i woke up at around 630am, steng was already outside continuing her biking lesson..ahaha...i went out, took some pictures and at around 7am, we had our breakfast...we decided not to go island hopping since its quite expensive granting that the destination is only one island...we decided to try bike boat instead...we inquired at the lifeguard but since again, its a low tide, we have to wait until 9am...problem is, the resort transpo will pick us up at 930am coz well be having our lunch at a resto that serves home made pizza, so we have to be early for us to catch up the 12noon boat...

so, we end up, going to the cave and swim instead and at 900am we prepared and packed...when the resort transpo arrived, we went to balikbayan restaraunt for our lunch..

the food was so delicious....their specialty was the homemade pizza...

then we paired it with halo2x

the place is so nice too...they are so creative...

we were so satisfied and happy with the food...

from the resto, we rode a trisikad up to sta fe port..

we catch up the 1245 fastcraft, and after a 30minute ride, we arrived at the port...jst as we arrived, the bus already left, and we waited for about 20-30minutes for another bus...i slept for some time during the trip...

we arrived at cebu at around 500pm, we stopped for a while at sm and i went home..

then...$!@*#$(&(!

ehehe.. ;)

the outing was really fun ;)

btw, i learned 4 new words:
"chill"
"dip"
"nag matter"
"in fairness"

:p

first?? third?? 22? 15?


and i still have another question and another question..and a whole lot of questions..

anyways, it is so nice to be able to witness such marvelous creations..miracles and sights that i truly adore...



i can say that i so so love nature....it gives me a feeling of peace, happiness...basta...i really really love it...

y do i have dat title? ala lang....i wanted to talk about something but no...rather not to ;)

i think only one person can relate to this one :p

ala lang..its so nice witnessing those sights...and *&#!$!()(%^)
ahaha :p
haayyyy...






Tuesday, November 01, 2005

article

"kami pro parang hindi"


i have always heard about a situation where: "parang kyo pro hindi", happens...ive always thought that it could be very difficult..not knowing where to stand, cant do something coz there is no commitment or whatsoever..hahay..love..

but mine's different..there was us..but it feels like there's none..i got the courage to ask the person if what is it that we have..but, should i have done it or not? yes, there was an us but most of the time it feels like there was nothing..most of the time, it feels like there's no us..

i feel bad..i feel bad for not doing something when i know i should be doing it..i feel bad for not doing something because i am afraid what would be the effect is..i feel bad for being so silent about it..i feel bad for crying coz i wanted to be with him and i cant..i feel bad for acting as if we do not know each other when we actually do..when there is actually something going on between us..i feel bad coz i cannot show him that i love him..

kami pro parang hindi..yes, kami na..pro we are not actually acting as one..no, we are acting as one sometimes, but only when people doesnt see us..masakit..mas masakit pa sa hindi m alam kng ano kayo pro prang kayo..ur acting as kau..regardless of the presence of the people around..mas masakit kasi ur holding on to something pro hindi mo maipakita..masakit kasi alam mong pwede mong gawin ang isang bagay pro ur holding it back kasi hindi pa alam ng mga tao..

ang hirap...alam k naman kasi na pwede lang naman eh..alam na alam k na wla namang problema f kausapin k sya..f maging sweet ako sa kanya..f magdemand ako ng time sa kanya, nang attention...kami naman d ba? pro hindi k magawa..kasi may mga tao na nakatingin..kasi may mga tao na makakita...ang hirap..napa kahirap..sometimes, m thinking..y should i be bothered with what would people think..eh kami naman? anong masama dun? pra kasing hindi nya gusto..hindi k alam eh..hndi kami masyado naguusap tungkol dun...natatakot ako..

pro masaya ako..pati mga friends k..boyfriend k na sya eh..pro minsan kasi, hindi eh..minsan umiiyak pa rin ako..minsan eh nasasaktan pa rin ako..paano kng itease sya sa ibang babae..wla namang nakakaalam na may girlfriend na sya..paano kng yayain sya nang kabarkada nya tapos may usapan din kami? paano kng in d middle of the day eh may kailangan ako..paano kng magkita kami..ano ang magiging reaction k? parang wla lang? eh hindi naman totoo eh..ang totoo kasi gusto k sweet ung smile k sa kanya..ang gusto k pag may problema ako. sya takbuhan k...pag kakain sana eh magkasama kami..pag may food ako eh bibigyan k sya..d ba ang sweet..pag wla akong magawa, kukulitin k sya..kahit he's busy..ang sarap isipin noh? sarap isipin na pwede kng magawa un..pro masakit isipin na there is something keeping me from doing it..

pra naman akong criminal...pakiramdam k ang laki nang kasalanan k sa buong mundo pag may makakita sa amin..pag gnawa k ang mga bagay na gusto kng gawin..pag pinakita k ang feelings k sa kanya..

mahal nman nya ako..oo..sinabi nya un..ipinakita nya rin un...mraming beses na..pro alam k, hindi pa sya ready...

kailan pa kaya?

maghihintay na lang ako..kasi baka nasa akin lang naman ang problema..kasi baka ako lang ung hinihintay nya..n d first place, i was even the reason y we are keeping it..kahit ako sa tingin k hindi pa rin naman ready na mlaman nang tao ang tungkol sa amin..pro sana naman pag may nakakita eh bale walain na lang...what's d point of inviting me to go with u or to agree na sabay kaming magpasyal or kumain f matatakot ka na may mkakita sa iyo d ba...wla lang..m consoling myself..at the same time thinking..baka ako lang ksi ang may problema...baka naman kasi there is something that i should do pra mawala na rin itong sakit na nararamdaman k...baka kasi ako lang din ang makapagbigay ng solusyon sa pinoproblema k...hindi k rin kasi alam kng naka pagisip na ba sya tungkol dito..hindi k rin alam f he is concerned about this..about us..or baka naman i jst have to be sensitive..or i would jst have to face my fear and start asking him or let him talk about it...later on kasi, mangyayari dn ang kinatatakutan k d ba..hindi k alam...natatakot ako..natatakot akong masaktan...

kasi...mahal k na masyado sya..

at sana...maipakita k na..khit may ibang tao pa..

;)