getting older

i just attended my officemate's baby's baptismal this morning...and after lunch, i went back to office to work...in between translating documents, i realized that i am actually getting older..ahah..

this is not my first time to be a ninang but this is the first time that i was able to attend a baptismal of an officemate's baby...i felt like, my circle of friends are not those who are teens anymore...we are in one occasion with my officemates not because its his/her birthday or thanksgiving or resignation...twas actually a celebration of my officemates family for a newborn baby...

during lunch, i was with my batchmate who are also married and people are talking about, when will they have the baby, and my other batchmate f when he will get married...i was even teased if when i will also get married too...ahaha..tsk tsk...not the common talks i had...not the usual topic i am talking with friends or officemates...

i realized that i am really getting older..having a lot of inanaak...and then i realized that next year, that is several weeks from now, exactly 4 more weeks and i will be turning 24...gosh...i dont think i still could say i am still young...i dnt think i would still be able to have crushes and live simply..

not that i am looking forward for my birthday...i dnt actually..jst felt sad these past few days that i wasnt looking forward for some holidays :( i wanted those days to be special...actually extra special..but i dnt think it will be....

my age is growing...on january 5, i will be turning 24, i already had a niece and a nephew from my bro and a lot more from my cousins...every year, babies in our family are actually growing..and are also growing in numbers...my first cousin's wife jst had a baby girl...and so is my other cousin...my number of inaanak is actually growing...my sister will be graduating...my lola's getting weaker...both my lola..tsk tsk...

a lot of things happen and time flies so fast....10 more days and we will be having our xmas party, then our vacation, then the new year, then my birthday...i guess i already have to start thinking of my future...what do i really wanted to achieve..and how do i see myself several years from now...

i think i really nid to act more maturely, spend more wisely, love more ambot...ahah...seriously, i think i really nid to think of what will i do with my life....

A hApPy PeRsOn Is NoT a PeRsOn In A cErTaIn SeT oF cIrCuMsTaNcEs BuT rAtHeR a PeRsOn WiTh A cErTaIn SeT oF aTti tUdEs.....

bad news

jst received some bad news from home...

last week, i remembered nanay texting me that lola's been doing bad...she's always sick...they brought her to the hospital last time, though not admitted...a few days later, she texted me that she admitted lola to the hospital coz she's not eating well...she told me that its nothing really serious..but still, im beginning to worry...i do not like those kind of news...i hate hearing that people are sick especially those close to me...

nanay said that they wont be staying long at the hospital...they are jst going to have the ultrasound and we will
know how she is...they might be even going home...but jst now, i received her text telling me that there was home problem with my lola's kidney..there is going to be another exam or laboratory to be performed...

i jst feel bad..i wasnt there and i wanted to be there...i hate it when i heard those kind of news and then feel like i cant do anything about it...i hate it when i hear those kind of news and then think of what will happen next...i knw she is old...and the thought of losing her is still unbearable...

few weeks from now and it's going to be christmas..i dnt want her spending it in the hospital..i dnt want her ill
during those times....

but well i think, i jst have to accept the fact that things come and go...people comes and leave...i hope ill be ready

for it...no, i hope its still not the end...

iloveyou, goodbye

leaving someone, when you love someone
is the hardest thing to do

but im never gonna be the one you needed
i love you...goodbye...




i love this song so much
and i wanted to listen to this always and cry
i wanted to say i love you goodbye to someone
i wanted to na morag dli k nahan pd.

i dnt knw..
m confused...
m tired...

hahay...the heartaches of being in love...

jollibee dexter's lab kiddie meal

last nyt, after a call at the house, and after PBB, my sis and i decided to go out and have dinner at around 1130pm...we jst finished eating polvoron and inipit and twas wasnt enough...i craved for chicken but since KFC in capitol is already closed, and since i wanted to have the jollibee dexter's lab toys, we went to jollibee at raintree mall :)

we both ordered burger kiddie meal, jst for the sake of the toys and two piece chicken for us...we were so excited
on the toys that after it was given to us, i immediately wore the watch and checked on the spy kit...ahaha..

we talked about our lovelife over dinner...she was ranting about her situation with her bf/ex/whatever and i was talking bout mine...

my sis is asking what should she be doing to her bf...they were not able to talk about their relationship anymore..she told the guy that they'd end it up but the guy doesnt want to...their relationship seems to be going nowhere...they rarely talk or text and meet....for me its unfair..and i do not agree with the idea that she would simply end it without talking and suffer...she would continously exchange text messages and still feel bad about it...

with our conversation, i have learned something...something which i also realized after reading maui's blog...

i realized that no matter what, no matter where, no matter how, the one who invest too much emotions on some1 oron that relationship or the one who actually hopes too much and the one who love too much is the one that is at lost...most of the time, its the girls..its the girls who is actually transparent, its the girl who shows and invest so much emotions and eventually gets hurt...and its always the girls whom we can always see crying..

i actually dnt knw wid the guys...they seems so good in hiding what they are feeling coz they always appear unaffected, no hurt, no pain, no worries, and we sometimes cant even feel their love..

guys has a lot of ways on showing their affections...some in words, some in actions, and some in ways that we completely neglect or have thought of to be nothing...

while writing this, i actually wanted to grasp something...i actually wanted to realize another thing to decide on something and at the same time, be able to actually understand someone and the situation we are into...

i cannot understand why guys have to be secretive, unpredictable and so stubborn...i wonder how they manage to hide what they actually feel and act nothing...well, i guess i will just have to live with that...

i have actually decided to confront, when i think it is actually time to..make guys understand that we, girls, are actually fond of hoping, of doing so much assumptions, of thinking and exaggerating..ehehe..simple things for us are actually made complicated..and little things to us are actually made bigger..girls love attention, surprises, we love being pampered and being flattered...in short, we always wanted to feel loved and not neglected...

my point is? loving someone, be it the opposite sex or friend or family, requires one to get hurt in the process...but for me, nothing beats the saying: "love like you'll never get hurt" for me, one truly loves f she gets hurt even by jst little things coz its actually a sign that she actually really cared...but getting hurt and being martyr is actually different...love all you want, but still we nid to open our eyes to the reality...there would be times that its actually too much and its time to stop, think and think more f its still correct to be like that...we love sincerely and we actually deserve to be respected at least...i think its no longer right f one loses respect and the respect of other people jst trying to reach out for the one they love...

just one thing for me, love all your heart, do everything, and when u can say that u actually have done everything, and yet it seems like ur already being stupid; stop, talk to the person, and move on...i cannot say stop loving coz loving alone for me is still such a wonderful feeling...even f it is not returned....but continuously showing that person even if you're looking stupid is i think no longer ryt..

honestly speaking, i am guilty of being martyr...but this past few weeks and these postponed event that ive been wanting to happen makes me realize something....i would be loving with all of my heart...that is my decision...but this time, i dnt knw f i can do it, but i think, i will no longer hope too much, and expect too much so i wont get hurt...and if i feel that its no longer ryt, i would have to talk to that person and tell him what i feel...things have been a little unfair for me...and i guess he deserves to know it...and jst like what someone said: "not to agree on a compromise coz im afraid to lose him" he is actually ryt...

;)

This relationship will be treated as if it's the last one and i will treat every moment as is it's the last day

tsk tsk

i am not in the mood to work :( i am not feeling well, i feel so sick and tired...translating documents is so tiring..and not only that, i cannot continously work on my document coz of the requests received from japan i think every hour or every 30minutes.

anyways, nothing much to look forward to i think...some very babaw stuffs like watching "chicken little", shopping for gifts, eating at jollibee for some dexter's laboratory stuffs...

the fools december reunion is already finished last november 26...twas quite early but its the most appropriate time...twas also fun..something different..ill post about it soon :)

looking forward on going home this december..last day of work is on december 21. its also our xmas party..havent found a dress and a shoes for the party yet..tsk tsk...

just received some bad news today...twas not supposed to be in this entry but i wasnt able to finish my entry and ive received the news just now..

hahay..oh well...everything happens for a reason...

:)