traffic and tension and other mixed emotions
rinnel was catching a trip last friday night.
we went out of the office at around 540pm thinking
that we will be able to catch up well.
what we did not expect was the heavy traffic even in lahug
area, and the rain.
when we went out, it was about to rain.
halfway walking around IT park, it drizzles.
we really had to get a taxi or we will be having a hard time getting one.
we walked until outside the IT park, wishing we will be seeing vacant taxis.
to no avail, none came.
rinnel called a taxi at the waterfront area.
we were quite relieved, but i knew that it is not really a good thing.
because, the traffic is still really heavy.
he was nervous, and so upset coz kim already texted him that they are
already at the airport.
we told the driver to make it fast. he was ranting about the traffic, but
still we asked him to try to make it fast coz we are catching a trip.
rinnel was silent for some moment,
then ranting the next, cursing those drivers that causes more traffic.
he was uneasy. he keeps on texting kim on where he already is.
fortunately, we arrived at the airport just on time.
it was a fast goodbye for us :(
not too much talk or what..
kim went out after checking in her things but rinnel was still outside.
i just texted him some stuffs, called him and told him that i will be leaving.
he told me to wait coz he is still fixing some stuffs, then he will go out.
it was nearly boarding time, so i told him that i will leave and he will just
rest.
he went out for some minutes, we said goodbye and i took the taxi going
back to the office.
it was sad but not that dramatic.
toinks.
i was ok after that.
i was just pissed when he did not text me or emailed me
that he already arrived.
we talked, on saturday morning already but it was a short chat.
i guess i was just having a hard time adjusting because for one,
he can't chat freely or use the pc freely coz a lot of them are sharing
the internet and the laptop.
i cannot text him that much even coz he is on roaming and it was quite costly.
we were not able to talk more or agree on the time when we will chat.
hahay..
the sad thing, i still cant go out freely coz im still scared.
damn this heart!
why cant i get over this trauma stuff.
i was walking alone from our apartment to the highway to take a taxi
and i was really walking so fast, looking to my left and right,
sensing if there are people following me or what.
my heart beats so fast, that i always felt like fainting.
i was on a taxi going to abella yesterday.
of course there will be motorcycle that will pass us,
and it gives me a twitch coz i felt like, im still outside
ready to be harmed.
grr...
when will this end...
girls talk
last friday night, two things happened.
but ill be blogging about the other one separately ;)
steng, invited us out for dinner and some coffee.
it was such a fun night that we have not realized it already 3am.
we dined at abuhan 3.
since we are also waiting for juvy, we choose to eat at the IT park area.
the food was really great.
the sizzling pochero is so yum yum =)
and what's a good combination with food and friends?
its chika =)
hihi
we talked about a lot of things that we finished eating or rather,
we went out of the restaurant at around 11pm.
we went to starbucks next, but since it was full, we decided to go
to bo's instead.
we continued our talk there. juvy went home at around 1am,
while me, steng, mam ana and chai continued our chika =)
we really tackled a lot of topics!
i learned a lot hehehe
girls stuffs ;)
made me realize, im really a grown up =p
hahaha
it was one good evening.
although i was worried about something,
i still had fun =)
thanks to them, coz i really missed hanging out with girl friends =)
thanks chai, steng, juvs, and mam ana =)
and what's the best part is? :)
it was for free =p
thanks steng and juvy ;)
sa uulitin =D
i just have to blog this...
last wednesday, we went straight until 12noon the following day.
it was tiring
God is good for letting me not worry
too much...
i had a good rest..
not enough but that was best...
now, i feel anxious...
i hope all turns well...
i'll be sad...
but i know its for the best....
stress and pressure
this week has been so stressful to me
with a lot of things that has happened,
a lot of things to attend to
and a lot of things i am looking forward to.
this week was our release week.
just a week before our release, we had a request to
have a temporary release and another release which
is a day before our planned schedule.
everything was still fine until monday.
we discovered some problems during our confirmation.
we stayed at the office until around 7am of tuesday
to send the temporary release.
we went back to the office in the afternoon.
that was around 2-3 hours of sleep for us.
we went home early on tuesday since we all look
so stressed and tired.
i knew we still cannot work efficiently even if
we force ourselves to stay here.
if i saw my groupmates sleeping in their cube, we
might as well sleep at our bed.
when we went back this wednesday morning, we are
bombarded with a lot of confirmation items, and
very impossible requests.
these are fine, as long as we have enough time
but as they see, we have around 35hours before our
release and they expect us to finish the remaining 75%
of the test items.
these 75% of items can be finished in 5days time.
but, that is not just the problem.
they have been reporting bugs which are not really
bugs, they just have problems with their configuration.
they want this and that and they want it right there and
then.
we are not super engineers you know!
grrrr!
DARN!!!!!
why is it that they are not following their requirements!
and why does the information comes to us at the latest possible
time where we have to kill ourselves trying to adjust to their needs!
argh!!
on the brighter side
the snatching incident is still scary.
i still do not want to go out or walk alone..
but after i relayed my story to some people, i have also heard a lot of stories
about similar incidents, some even worse.
i knew i have also seen those in tv and heard it on the radio or read it in newspapers.
i guess from all of it that has happened,
as i have been praying and thankful for,
is nothing happened to us during that time...
i knew i was not able to recover my things,
i knew they are still out there,
i knew the police did not catch them yet,
but i knew also that i have learned a lesson from it,
and i knew i should also be thankful
that no harm is done to us physically.
some said that there was also one instance where
the girl was dragged because she is still holding
on to her bag,
some were hurt because they forcely tooked the
bag from the owner
some has even worst trauma because the snatchers
were really close to them threatening them with
deadly weapons
some were hurt because they tried to go after those
cruel criminals
some were even killed.
material things can just be replaced.
but if we were hurt or something bad happened
to us, it was even worst.
good thing we are still unharmed.
aftershock
after the incident last friday, i have never had a good sleep or a peaceful mind.
friday night was the worst. i managed to stop those tears but still, getting a rest was very difficult.
i was just lying in my bed, memories flashing back without effort even if i keep on trying to
forget about it.
as i recall what are the stuffs inside my bag, i kept on feeling the fear and thinking of all the what ifs.
what if they will try to do it again to me, or what if they will try hurting me, etc.
i wanted them to be in prison. that would make me feel safe.
i am hoping to get some call from the police station but unfortunately nothing came.
it was such a stressful weekend.
eventhough there was suppose to be something to be celebrated on.
since i do not have any working sim, i cannot use my fon and he cannot contact me.
unfortunately, as i was trying my best to do a surprise, he arrived earlier than i expected.
he was in such a hurry and told me that we had to go to SM to meet William.
we had to meet with them by 1145 at it was already 1145 when he arrived home.
i was not even dressed or i did not even took a bath yet.
at first i declined. i felt safer at home, but he insisted.
i hurriedly prepared and we went to SM to meet with them.
while in the taxi, we still are speechless.
it was a special day, but we are seems in a hurry, so tired and so stressed out.
we waited for a while in sm, until they arrived.
we had lunch and discussion.
we finished at around 130pm, and we went ahead because we still had to prepare several stuffs.
we went to our first errand, then to the next, and to the last errand.
since we do not have a key to the apartment, we went to abellana to borrow key.
we met up with some of the housemates who is on the way home.
when we arrived home, that was the time where we cooked and feasted on the food.
we were suppose to watch prison break but decided to postpone it until next week.
i want him to go home early.
i still dont feel safe and i know he is not safe also.
i was just in the sala watching tv until around 10pm, when i realized i was already sleeping.
since mark is still in the sala, i just stayed there for a while.
i woke up around 1030, mark is gone so i went upstairs.
good thing i was really sleepy because i was able to rest.
since i already bought a sim, my fon is already on.
i woke up and when i checked my fon it was already 349pm.
i was shocked, i could not believe i slept from 1030pm to 349pm of course.
since i was scared to turn off the light that night, i could not fully recognize if it
was really sunday afternoon or sunday dawn.
i went out of the room and checked and realized that it was actually 349am.
i could not get back to sleep.
i was arranging the contacts on my fon.
i still could not sleep.
i read for the saved messages, deleted to personal ones(being careful in case i lost it again)
i still could not sleep until 430am.
i texted him, i texted my sister.
i told them i am afraid.
i was already crying, i was praying but i was actually trembling.
i am really scared.
after several more minutes of prayer,
i was calm, when i decided to get up.
i ironed some clothes and fixed my room.
around 6am, sun was up, when i decided to go down to the sala
i bought my pillow and my blanket
i watched tv.
i fall asleep in the middle of the shows.
tv really makes me sleep.
how i wished it was in my room so i do not have to
fit myself in the couch.
around 9am when all my other housemates were awake.
i am a little sleepy so i went back to bed.
he called me up, told me that we go to church in the morning.
but he realized that i was still sleepy, we decided to go in the afternoon instead.
it was one good sunday.
we finished our errands,
was able to attend the mass
go to sto nino
go to usc
and went home early.
i went to bed around 1am.
i am still not sleepy.
in my mind,
it's already working day tomorrow.
i will be facing the effect of the incident last friday
process my papers, etc
and i have to go to the office which i fear most.
again i cried..
but i stopped myself from texting him again..
i know i will just worry him..
and i know this is not a good time to do it.
i managed to sleep,
wake up early and went to the office with korn
they agreed to wait for me so that we will go to the office together
i told them i am still scared.
i arrived later that my planned time but it was ok.
i am safe.
i started processing stuffs.
went to the bank, called several offices.
it was in the afternoon that i felt bad.
i had to go to an attorney for the affidavit of loss.
he was busy
so i decided to go alone instead of bugging him to tag along with me
im scared, reluctant to go
which is why my undertime which is suppose to be from 2pm
was moved to 3pm.
i managed to finish it until 5pm.
i wanted to go ayala coz i badly needed a shampoo but decided not to go
i was expecting that i can ask him to bring me to ayala so we could buy it
i also do not want to go to jy.
but from the way we texted, i knew he was busy.
he was being pestered by a great person who does not know how to work
in a team. how i hate that guy!
i arrived at the office 447pm.
i finished some tasks, and office works.
we chatted, and since its almost 6pm,
he told me he is going home.
too late to ask him not too.
i know he has a lot of things to finish too..
i know he has to go home early also for his kuya
and i know he has to go home early to be safe...
i felt so alone...
but i know i could not sacrifice his safety for me...
i know he has other things to finish..
i know we should prioritize it...
it happens that it is during these times that i also needed someone
because i am so scared of what happened
but i know i have to be strong.
although most of the times, i felt safe just inside the house
i no longer what to go out..
i felt safe now i am inside the office with many people...
i do not want to go alone
ride in the taxi alone...
walk alone...
this is such a torture...
beware and always be careful
i do not want to talk about this or post or recall about what happened to me
last friday night but i guess, if i was not able to do something that night,
i should be doing something so others will prevent it from happening to them.
last friday night, after dinner at the apartment, i went back to the office
to render overtime.
every night, we would usually eat at the apartment coz eating out is very expensive.
that night, was just the usual night for us.
dinner, then overtime.
everytime, we would just walk from the office to the apartment and back to the office
taking the same route everyday.
the road was in so much traffic that time which is very unlikely. they said that
there was an accident somewhere around jy creating the traffic.
while in the area near the corner to IT park, rinnel made me walk ahead coz of the
traffic and so many jeepneys are passing by.
just in time that i went ahead of him, someone in motorcycly snatched my bag.
i was in shock and all i could do was shout something
i was not even shouting snatcher or kawatan or what, i was just shouting at them
rinnel tried catching them
i tried running but my mind is blank and i do not know what to do
somewhere halfway the block, i felt like i am losing consciousness and fainting
i tried asking for help but the guards and those people just listened to
my story and did nothing
same as what the police did when i saw rinnel near jy
the police is just interviewing him and did not do anything to catch the thief
the police tried calling at their station but since we were not able to get the
plate number of the motorcycle, they told us to just have it reported at their
station and that's it
we went to the station and the police kept on ranting why we were not able to get
the plate number, and its hard for them to chase, etc etc
i was so pissed that i told him this:
"lagi nong wla na namo nakuha ang plate number kay ngcge man sya liko liko sa mga
jeep, so unsa man amo buhaton? wla mo patrol na pwede maka adto ato na mga areas nya
pangitaon cla or at least ang bag lang man nko? gi advisan mi sa police na mag
pablotter, mao na ni ang blotteR?!"
"yes, unfortunately we were not able to get the plate number because they tried to pass
through the jeepneys and it was hard to get it. what shall we do next? don't you have any
patrol to search the area? we were advised to have blotter, is this it?
(did i translate it correctly? the bisaya one has more emotions)
anyways, he just pointed to us the police officer that will do the blotter. we talked to the other
police. i again told them my suggestion to have some patrol check the area, we again went
out, they contacted their officers but they were still in SRP and it is still far so we
just continued telling the event to them and have it recorded.
we went to the office afterwards. i had my cards blocked, transfered my money to other
accounts not in the atm that was inside my bag and borrowed key for the apartment.
i went home feeling frustrated. i was blaming myself for refusing rinnel's offer
to carry my bag. i was not bringing my extra phone for several weeks and it was
just on that day that i bought it, i should have left my cards, atm and passport
at the office or at home, i should have wear my shoulder bag properly, put it in my
shoulder and put it not near the street side, and all other stuffs
it was only at home that i cried and i felt mixed emotions of anger, fear, and shock.
i know those material things can be replaced..i was thankful though that nothing
happened to us especially to rinnel who tried running after them.
i had a hard time getting to sleep even until now. i would feel scared what if they
would recognize me because of all the pictures i had in my fon, in my ID, and all the
information about me. i am scared because i am thinking what if those persons were
actually spying on us and they knew that we would always pass by those areas on those
times. i am scared because all the while i thought that that place was safe for us.
almost all of the people from the office would just walk and pass by that area.
i realized that nowhere's safe and one should be on the look out always.
i hope this will never again happen to anyone. please always be on the lookout
on your things even your at places you thought are safe. if possible, those
really important stuffs should be kept at home or at the office. in my case,
i was brigning them for purposes that i met an accident or something i can use
it as an identification, but i forgot that a different accident can happen to me also.
the next time it happens, i would not recommend that you would try to ran after them.
having a presence of mind in those situation is really necessary. get the plate
number, try to identify the person, shout and ask for help too.
i wished i was able to shout instead of running after them. but i was not able to do
so. my mind was completely blank. i could remember looking at the plate number area
but wat was registered to my mind is only the white or flesh shirt the guy is wearing,
and the white in the plate number area.
i wanted to do something so that the government would try to do something about these.
these are just petty crimes if some would look at. some would even just consider
this as natural. some would just shrug it off and tell you to be careful next time.
this is i guess the reason why it has became very popular.
the police would just think that they are striking again, that it is the new trend, etc.
but haven't they thought of how many people are victims of these crimes. no killings
or what but the mere tolerance of it just because it is hard to detect when the victim
was not able to get the plate number is not an excuse. they can search the area, do
something to catch the robbers. big things comes from small things. these big syndicates
comes from these small robberies and snatchings. i hope someone would try to do
action for these crimes. small or not, these are still crimes. no wounds or even the
damage is not that big, still it is still crimes.
it creates trauma and not good effect on the victim.
until now, i felt so unsafe. i would not want to go out alone, especially going out from
our apartment to work. i cannot prevent overtime for now because we are busy, but i
decided not to go home for dinner yet for now. i must admit that it really scares me that
everytime i tried to sleep i had to turn on the lights, or stay at the sala to watch tv
until im dead tired and i can sleep directly. when left alone, i still can remember
the moment when he got my bag, and when i looked at their direction. when i tried to
recall what is inside my bag, i would feel scared. what if they are always at the it park
area, what if they are just around the area in our apartment and they still recognize
me. this is really crazy, but i fear them a lot, and i am so scared...
i am scared...
i am really scared, in trauma, so paranoid of everything
and i felt so alone that rinnel is so busy
i do not want to make him stay out that late just to go with
me and wait till i finish rendering overtime for safety reasons.
but i guess i should stop feeling this
things will happen no matter what
and i should also be responsible of myself too
serious post?
it has been a while since i have read this person's blog and i was amazed to learn from him about some instance that i can truly relate too and hear him ranting about the same feeling that i experienced several times and would probably be experiencing some more unless i would stop expecting.
this person is really good and i can say he is really nice, considerate, passionate and understanding. but i have never really thought that he too would leave and he too would feel bad about it too. i thought he really truly understands everything here.
seriously though, i know there has been competition, but i guess, these kind of issues should not be neglected or be taken for granted. company's main assets are actually its people. and as i would quote him: "we're not kids anymore" or something like that ;)
they cannot really expect us to just stay and wait for all the jobs, workloads and opportunities they are laying in our lap. if they have not noticed, there are things far more better than them. they are just lucky to have or grab the good ones first fresh from school.
it happened to me several times. i even shed tears for it. the heck! they actually don't deserve it. my life(char!), my plans were all frozen because of all those false opportunities laid out to me. and for heaven's sake i felt flattered! but yeah! we are not kids anymore. we're not children that can be joked or be fooled by something but later turns out that it was not true after all. and for one, they are not new to this corporate world not to realize that stating something on your employee, and then take it back is never PROFESSIONAL!
i am not blaming my direct superiors for this one. but with all these people leaving them, not just here in head office but also in the other office, they should know that it is not just because we seek better opportunities and better pay, but also because there is something that they are doing that was never right even from the start.
all the while i thought that those persons have been privileged and were lucky to have better pay, more travel and even more recognitions than us. but i never thought that it also happened to them. i guess this is the "this is it" time for me.
fight
last week, i went home early and did not render overtime.
although it was already night time, i still fed ramonito and pepper
i miss this two cute guys :)
anyways, i put on food on their water and watched them eat..
pepper was silently eating while ramonito took pleasure in taking pepper's food.
it was the last pellet in the water and it was pepper who got the to eat it.
since she's still small, only half of it was in her mouth and half is still out
ready for ramonito to bite =D
ramonitor really tried not just biting the half part but wanted to take everything out
of pepper's mouth. they wrestled until ramonito bit pepper's feet.
pepper is struggling to get away from ramonito but the latter is strong and so stubborn to
let go.
i tried holding both of them in an attempt to separate them but it gave pepper a chance to
bite ramonito in the neck!!
tsk tsk!
i asked for help from my housemates. len tapped ramonito's head and that separated them.
hahay...
their grounded now.
they are not getting any food from me
but they wont be hungry coz i guess everybody in the house feeds them
toinks!
i miss multiply...
i missed checking out my friends post about the latest happening in their life, or see pictures or their latest adventures or past travels..
i missed posting about my rants, or anything that has happened to me lately or something that i am looking forward to ;)
anyways, i have not updated this blog lately coz i wanted to put it all on my multiply instead.
but since its blocked in the office and its just no fun getting all the errors when using proxy sites, im back to posting here again...
nothing much...
congratulations to the soon to be parents! and my friend who just had a cute baby boy! very much more like his daddy :D
congratulations to my friend who going to enter a married life soon
congratulations to those who have pursued their dreams in a far far away land
congratulations to those who have found new jobs
and congratulations to those who have found a new love life :D
hihihi
a lot of good things has happened lately which made me realize something...
there might be bad times, but soon we will have our turn to be congratulated too =)
...
Let me sleep
For when I sleep
I dream that you are here
You’re mine
And all my fears are left behind
I float on air
The nightingale sings gentle lullabys
So let me close my eyes
And sleep
Per chance to dream
So I can see the face I long to touch
To kiss
But only dreams can bring me this
So let the moon
Shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He’ll dream of me
I’ll hide beneath the clouds
And whisper to the evening stars
They tell me love is just a dream away
Dream away (echo 3x)
I’ll dream away
So let the moon
Shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He’ll dream of me
Oooohhh
Dream of me
