one more...

finally!!

the wait is over...

just one more thing Lord please...
i know HE has been so great with me..
but i love the learning and growing process..
one last thing Lord =D

melted

i was browsing through my stuffs last weekend and i came across my favorite mp3s stored in my hard disk. i copied it in my laptop again, and while rendering ot today, i played them. after a happy dancing tune, silent world by donna lewis was played. i suddenly just wanted to rest my back, or lie down, play the music loudly, close my eyes and just listen to it. i even felt teary eyed or simply just wanted to cry.

lately, it has been a stressful, exciting and different week for me. maybe even more different for the coming weeks.

the song is actually a dedication for someone who died. i even posted i here in my blog before when my lola died. but the first time i dedicated it was for my uncle. someone whose death i cannot forget making me wanted to curse the hospital he was in. recalling it makes me want to cry or even just simple talking about it really makes me cry. i also wanted the song to be played in my wake over and over again when i die. i know its bad to talk about it; i was even reprimanded by my sister and i know my parents would kill me if they hear me talking like this. but yes, i hope someone will remember this. i want this played all through out my wake and of course during my burial. it's not scary. it's just something that i wanted and i dont want to die yet.

when i was still in college, i heard it from killer bee every sunday evening before they sign off. actually before 1130 or around that time coz they sign off at 12midnight. i am usually at bed during those times, listening to the radio while trying to sleep. it has became my favorite regardless of the meaning. i searched for the lyrics and i memorized it. i would feel bad if they won't play it. i would always make it a point that i am tuned in during those times so i can hear it. mp3 players are not popular that time.

i am actually like that. when i feel down, or sad, or happy or just simply peaceful, i wanted to listen to the music LOUDLY(i mean hurting my ears, but i just wanted to listen to the music alone) and play it again and again.

i've been playing it again after it finishes....

first time

multiply is once again blocked in the office...
i don't know how they do that and how do they check if it's block or not
last time it was blocked, i accidentally opened one link and found out its not,
and not its blocked again..which is why im blogging in blogspot..

i felt really tired today waking up early, doing some errands, reading something
working, doing a certain task, then work again..i thought i would be able to sleep
early and have my facial too but, im still here at the office up to this hour..

--
i cooked hotdogs and bought it at the office this morning for my lunch..but when i
went out to buy rice and veggies at our canteed, i found the very tempting pork humba.
i decided buy it and the guy told me to choose a part..i preferred the less fatty one, but
to my dismay, he gave me a very small part and that's already for 25pesos. i almost
put it back and ordered the veggies instead. i decided to buy kangkong and their sort
of supervisor gave me too much...i guess its because its not saleable..tsk tsk
so for lunch i ate a lot even if i only ordered half rice..i need to eat well anyway.

--
at dinner, i still felt full after drinking c2 and eating chocolates but since its already 7pm,
i went out with my groupmates and dined with them. we ate at ila puti and ordered sisig.
i guess i have been having a lot of pleasure foods today...but i deserved it after too
much pressure from last night until this afternoon =p

--
i am so bored..i wanted to code :( i figured out that there are a lot of things that i wanted to do,
to learn, and to discover...but i guess i was not able to have that opportunity..whether i like it
or not, im still not superwoman to be able to do it all..but i am starting to do something about
it though..but just this evening, i really felt bored doing all the documentations and data checking
and i soo soo wanted to code and debug :(

--
2 more weeks and i still got a lot of things to do...1 more important thing has not arrived yet. 2 actually
i felt pressured, excited, and scared..though i am more on excited side though...
really wishful thinking..


--
my groupmate is taking the longest time to finish the report :( i felt like i regret making him do it...
anyways, its the reason why i am still here...guess ill just have to finish my task so i can list all my
TODOsssssssssssss and start doing it

--
the title means that its the first time i really wawnted to escape from documentation and go coding and debugging :(

--
i am sooo sleepy :(

happy hearts day!

and i got a very nice present for today =)
one more to go....

crazy thought

today was supposed to be my chance to do 1 thing i should do before this month ends. that is to walk from the office to home or even walk along the area where my bag was snatched.

that are was just near our dentist office. today i had a scheduled suture removal(a.k.a. stitch removal). i had my tooth extracted last last saturday but unfortunately, our dentist broke may tooth(again), and told me to go back on tuesday since they are to open it again and perform surgery so they can remove the roots of my tooth.

around 1215(my appointment is 1230), armed with umbrella, glasses and wallet, i walked bravely from the office. the intention was just to walk until the dentist's clinic and pass by my feared place.

from the office to the 2nd block, i was still ok, but my mind was thinking, will i be able to do it. at the end of the 2nd block, instead of going right, i walked straight, crossed the street, walked around 1.15 meters, then crossed again the street to go to the dentist office.

silly! yes very silly!! i just crossed the street so that i wont walk by the side where my bag was snatched, and then cross again to go to the clinic. well at least, i did not decided to ride a jeepney =p

so that's my plan of doing what i feared to do..maybe i need more time, or to be with someone to be able to do that or may i wont be able to do that...just the thought of it give me goosebumps...grrr...i though i was strong enough...

so that's the effect of being snatched. :(

instant party

so sad...
not the kind of party i was hoping for...
but at least there is one...

it's just that, its so different :(
i know i should not rant about this..